Six years and counting

Six years ago, and sixteen weeks earlier than intended, we had twins.  A beautiful little boy and little girl.

We watched our brave boy fight for almost three days in the NICU, but in the end, he was too sick and we said goodbye.  I held him for the first and last time.

Our amazing little girl defied all the odds for 21 days.  Everyone was amazed at how well she was doing.  Until her heart just gave out.

I think about them every single day.  I wonder what life would be like if they were still here.

We celebrate their birthday each year with cupcakes and candles.  Last year, Miss Moonpie loved it.  She didn’t really care why we were having cupcakes and didn’t even think it was strange that we were all blowing out birthday candles.

I don’t know how we will explain it to her when she does finally ask why we do this.  We haven’t told her that she has an older brother and sister who will always be younger than she is.  I just hope she waits to start asking questions I don’t know how to answer for a few more years.   For now, it’s enough to tell her that Mommy is a little sad today and needs to just snuggle for awhile.

 

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