Starting Over

Hi there. I debated deleting the handful of posts preceding this one and starting fresh, but I’m a notorious packrat and the thought of throwing anything away, even data, makes me feel…twitchy. So, I’m going to leave them there and just ignore them.

I’m The Mama. He’s The Daddy. And that forty-pound dynamo currently sacked out in her bed, that’s The Baby, AKA Olivia Moonpie. Some of you may have followed our past exploits over on Our Own Creation as we fought through infertility diagnoses, treatments, surgeries, bedrests, premature births, NICU stays, infant loss, grief and the early days of parenting. My original intention was to create this blog while we muddled our way through infancy to share our mis-steps and triumphs. Then reality hit and it was all I could do to remember to shower every so often and keep The Baby clean, fed, happy and healthy. So, I packed away the blogs. Just recently, though, I find that I’m actually able to keep a thought in my head for more than a couple of minutes. I actually read a novel last week…some of it during the day. I took a shower WHILE THE BABY WAS AWAKE and I took the time to shave BOTH legs and not once did I lean out past the shower curtain, soap dripping in my eyes and shout, “ARE YOU OK OUT THERE?” because suddenly, she can sit for 15 minutes and watch PBS or NICK Jr and drink a cup of milk and eat a waffle without me right there. Suddenly, if she needs me, she knows to get up and come find me. She understands “you play with that, Mommy is doing this right now.” And with that, I realized how much I missed this. So, here I am.

Why a mommy blog when 2008 was forever ago? Well. Have you ever been in the grocery store, waiting in line with your kid sitting in the basket and wondered why everyone is making such a big deal about how cute the kid in the shopping cart ahead of you is? I’m really sorry. That’s my kid. I don’t get it either, and I’m usually terribly embarassed that no one is telling you how sweet/cute/funny your kid is too because he or she really is. I mean, I think my kid is fantastic, but all she did was tell you how much she can’t wait to eat that package of dried seaweed and that she had to have her googly eye fixed and her cat Widget likes to snuggle on the couch but Daddy is at the workshop and won’t be home until dinner time. Honestly, I frequently wish she’d shut up and let me just pay for the groceries. Maybe I do something different and if I share it, you can be the one who has to allot an extra 30 minutes for a grocery store trip so everyone can oooh and aaah over your kid and I can just get the milk and bananas. Then, there was the experience of infertility. It was such a huge help to feel like I was part of a crowd who just GOT what I was going through. You see, I’m the sort who approaches every new situation by trying to find a book to help me. I’ve read parenting books. They made me feel ridiculously inadequate. I’m hoping that sharing what we do might help someone else in the same boat, even if it just lets them know that they aren’t the only ones who sometimes dump the screaming kid in the crib, shut the door and go sob in the bathroom for ten minutes. So, here we go. Some of this will be real time. Some of this will be flashbacks. Some of it will be because you ask a question. Some of it might be guests I bribe into posting. Some of it won’t have anything to do with anything because, why not?

Briefly, The Baby was born 11 weeks premature in Fort Worth, TX. She spent 49 days in the NICU and came home before she was supposed to be born. Amazingly, she seems to have escaped unscathed. She has never shown any developmental or physical issues as a result of her prematurity. She did have to wear an eye patch and have eye surgery to correct the esotropia that turned up right around her second birthday. Shortly after her second birthday, we packed up everything and moved to North Carolina…a homecoming for me, a new start for The Daddy. I WILL discuss the joys of moving 1200 miles with a two year old! I have had the extremely good fortune to be able to stay home with Olivia Moonpie. I know that isn’t a path that everyone would or could choose. It works for us, but it does mean that my days are entirely filled with KID and not a whole lot of anything else. I’m a hardcore introvert, so for the most part that works for me, but I do find myself feeling more than a little isolated and out of the loop. When you combine that with moving so far, to a city neither of us knows, well…let’s just say I have no idea how to meet and make friends without being able to complain about how much homework we got in AP English and making plans to go to the basketball game on Friday night. I’m hoping to start finding ways to improve our social life soon.

I’m just trying to be a good mother. I have a three year old who says please and thank you, has slept through the night since forever and takes a 2 hour nap every day, and prefers broccoli and broiled salmon to chocolate pudding and has only had one non-teething related sickness so I must be doing something not too terribly wrong. If it takes a village to raise a child, and the villages are moving online, I might as well share our journey and hope that it helps someone else along the way.



One response to “Starting Over

  1. I’m ready. And I love that last image of the villages moving online.

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