And so it begins

The first sentence is always the hardest. It is for me, anyway. I find myself wondering what I could possibly have to say that anyone would be interested in. But this is not the time for navel-gazing. No, that comes later in this process! 😉 Right now, this is the time for introductions.


I’m The Mama. Currently, The Baby is sleeping on her play mat on the floor next to me. Naps are a new thing for us, but I’ll also get to that later. The Daddy is at the office, which is a big part of why I’m starting this blog.

This is not my first blog. I blogged about our journey to have The Baby elsewhere. Oddly, I don’t feel the need or desire to connect this blog to that. It’s easy enough to find since I was too lazy to create an entirely separate wordpress account. It’s just that that blog is one thing and I’d like this blog to be something else.

What you need to know:
-We went through five years of infertility treatments to have The Baby. I was pregnant four times. I had twins who we had to say goodbye to far too soon.
-I, apparently, was not meant to be pregnant. I think I had two good weeks the entire time I was pregnant with The Baby. I had bronchitis the entire first trimester. I spent the second trimester in and out of the hospital, first to remove part of my small intestine and repair an umbilical hernia, then to place a cerclage. I spent four weeks on bedrest at home and delivered The Baby by c-section at 29 weeks.
-The Baby was in the NICU (that’s neonatal intensive care unit, for those who are less hospital-conversant) for 11 weeks. She was due on August 29, was born on June 15 and came home on August 4.
-The Baby’s stats: 3 pounds 4 ounces and 14 inches long at birth. Today, one day before her six-month birthday, she’s 12 pounds 12 ounces and slightly over 24 inches long.

What is this blog about? Well, that’s a little more involved. When I first got sick in April, The Daddy got permission from work to work from home so that he could be in the hospital with me or home to care for me since I was not allowed to walk around. Then, when The Baby was born, he continued to work from home so we could make frequent trips to the hospital to see her. THEN, when The Baby came home, he STILL worked from home because caring for a preemie is stressful and having extra hands is a good thing. Y’see, she came home before she was even born. Just a few days before we brought her home, she failed her car seat test….the one that required her to CONTINUE TO BREATHE while in her car seat. So, while all of my family is 1200 miles away and most of our friends are online or in other states, I was fortunate enough to have The Daddy home, 24 hours a day, seven days a week. We’ve been together almost constantly since April 15.

In two days, The Daddy starts a new job and will be going to an office every day. It’s going to be just The Mama and The Baby all day, every day.

I’m more than just a little nervous. Need to go to the grocery store? Gotta take The Baby. Want to take a shower? Better hope you got it done before The Daddy left for work.

Now, I know 99.9% of mommies with babies do this. I know how lucky we were to have The Daddy here for so long. That knowledge doesn’t make it any easier.

When The Daddy decided to take this new job and I mentioned how scared I was, he suggested this project. Sort of a variation on those blogs where someone cooks their way through a massive cookbook (I love those blogs…I AM going to do something like that one of these days). Only instead of learning to make the perfect lobster bisque, I’m trying to raise a small human.

This is my journal of that process. Think of it as a series of informal essays on motherhood in progess. All those books on raising kids? They’re written after the fact. The babies are already raised. This is the view from the trenches as I figure it out.

See the title? That’s not what I claim to be, it’s what I’m trying to become.


3 responses to “And so it begins

  1. Love this post. You’ll find your groove. And then you’ll lose. And then you’ll find it again. Over and over as she changes and you change. The beautiful thing is that you’ll find it and lose it together.

    Here’s to first days.

  2. Great post. I think we all go through these feelings when we start to pick up our lives after a baby is born. It is scary, but it seems like you are definitely finding your way. Glad I could your blog. Here from LFCA

  3. The blogosphere is a great place if you’re ever worried about being a good mother. Don’t worry about being interesting. Hearing about someone else’s life is just interesting by itself. Just enjoy writing and having people to “talk” to when you’re home.

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